A DJ's PERSPECTIVE...... with tongue in cheek!

1. Touching the computer, mixer, mic, headphones etc. without the express permission of the owner is not big or clever and WILL result in serious injury or in extreme cases, death. Period.

2. Don't come up and ask "What have you got", or "How many choon's you got on your computer mate. Is that all i've got 100,000" and
No I dont use Spotify all my songs are legally purchased through legal sites!

3 . Don't assume that the DJ has every single record and version and remix of every single song ever made... just cos YOU love the extended Belgian funk-step dubgroove bonus edit of Cliff Richards' 'Summer Holiday' featuring Will-I-Aint and Fifty Pence doesn't mean everyone else does..

4 . If you ask the DJ for a request...Try to make it relevant to what's actually going on in the room.. please don't go up to DJ Techno Tim in a room full of sweaty ravers in white gloves with glow stick’s and ask for Stevie Wonder's 'I Just Called To Say I Love You'...

5 . If the DJ does happen to have the song you want to hear, and is willing to play it.. DON'T ASSUME THEY WILL PLAY IT NEXT!! DJ's often need to find a suitable 'bridge' from the song thats playing to the one you want, so be patient!!

6 . Don't be offended if you don't get their attention immediately.. the DJ has a lot to concentrate on, so they will usually have to get themselves 'set' before giving you their attention.. a cold pint of beer should do it nicely...and don't take it personally... after the 100th drunken tosser has spat in his ear while shouting the name of some crap band and spilt Bacardi Breezer over his mixer, the DJ is possibly just a tiny bit sensitive...

7 . To Wannabe singer/rappers/MC's....Britians Got Talent this ain't. X-Factor this ain't. The Voice this ain't. Do yourself a favour. Don't.

8 . Just cos he's behind the decks doesn't mean he has superhuman crime-fighting powers... ok, so some-ones nicked your bag or your phone or your boyfriend... what d'ya want me to do about it?? That's what the POLICE ARE FOR.....

9 . Don't repeat DON'T at the end of the night go up to him and say "One more mate, just one more" It wont work. The finish is the finish. There's a contract, and the venue has to stop. 24 hour licences are OK if your lucky enough to have one most venue's don't.

10 . The DJ is under immense pressure to keep the client happy as well as the crowd, and it's not as easy as it sometimes looks to do both..so if you do like what you hear, say so! A bit of appreciation for the DJ goes a long way, so give him the thumbs up or a whistle if a track u like comes on... no, really it'll make his day.. and ladies, if he plays 'your' song, he's expecting a snog in the toilets at LEAST.
So do the right thing please..